Take a closer look at finding self worth. Do you take care of you like you’re precious and valuable?
Would you use your 60″ flat screen TV as a ping pong table? Take your newborn baby skydiving? Scratch a mural into your brand new car with a rock?
The answer’s a no-brainer: of course not!
But ask this question: why not?
Because you value those things.
Things like a TV or a car cost a lot of money.
A newborn baby is precious and needs to be carefully looked after.
When something is truly precious or valuable to us, we take care of it.
Most of us can apply this concept to a wedding dress. Or a precious family heirloom. Or a luxury car. Or even a $600 iPhone. We take care of these things because we believe they’re valuable.
But what about yourself?
Do you take care of you like you’re precious and valuable?
If you’re like most people, the answer is… not really.
Finding Self Worth: The Secret to… Everything!
Why do you have trouble starting healthy habits?
Why are you stuck in toxic relationships?
Why don’t you take the steps needed to get where you want to go in life?
Why do you allow people to take advantage of you or push you around?
The are volumes and volumes written on these subjects. Some of them can get pretty complex.
But I believe the answer is far more simple than we think.
I struggled with these questions for most of my life. I made poor decisions that impacted my life in a negative way. Sometimes in a seriously messed up way. And I was always left asking… why?
I figured there was something wrong with me. In fact, that was my answer for years: I stink as a person.
Turns out, that wasn’t the answer. It was the problem.
I was stuck in a cycle of not viewing myself as valuable. As precious. As irreplaceable. And so my decisions lined up with the way I viewed myself.
Because I didn’t see myself as valuable, precious, and irreplaceable, I didn’t treat myself that way.
It took many, many years and many mistakes for me to finally realize the underlying problem: I wasn’t viewing myself in the right way.
Since then, finding self worth has become a daily goal of mine. And it has changed my life in a profound way. I am so much more at peace with my daily decisions. I am able to make the right priorities. I am capable of saying “no” to things that don’t belong in my life, and saying “yes” to the things that are good for me.
What is finding self worth?
To me, it means a decision to start seeing value in yourself as a human being.
I struggled for most of my life feeling “less than” the people around me. Not just family and friends, but people I barely knew or even complete strangers! I didn’t value myself, my feelings or my own intuition. And it showed. People could run all over me and they knew it.
Funny thing about finding self worth: when you find it, people around you start seeing it too.
When I started seeing myself as more valuable, I started refusing to let others treat me like I wasn’t. And suddenly, people started respecting my time, my effort, my humanity. And people who didn’t? It was easy for me to walk away without a trace of guilt.
Don’t get me wrong: I strongly believe in being a compassionate person. But you can feel compassion for other people without letting them run all over you. In fact, not letting them run all over you is the compassionate thing to do! For both of you.
(And I hope it goes without saying that having self worth also means treating others with respect.)
Finding self worth turns into a positive cycle that liberates you from old patterns of defeat. You make better decisions when you view yourself as valuable, precious, irreplaceable. It’s so much easier to say, “This isn’t the best for me” or “This is what I really need to do right now” when you truly feel worthy deep down. It’s almost automatic.
And you know me: I’m all about healthy living being automatic.
More Positive Living Articles:
- When Life is Hard….One Simple Saying To Help You
- Eye-Opening Quotes About Stress, Health, and Wellness
- The Alternative to Giving Up
- When Something Is Missing From Your Life…
I just loved this article Elizabeth! It was spot on. I recently learned that to improve my life it was important to stop being silent and realize that I was being self destructive. I have been practicing saying no, keeping the people in my life that didn’t make me feel good away (maybe some for good, others just for awhile) I have seen results with those closest to me. They are responding and treating me with more respect because I have found my voice and the courage to decide what is best for me. My confidence and self esteem have improved tremendously!
This article is so true! It took me a good part of my life to figure this out, and I’m still working on it! My problem is that I had my own parents be abusive and belittling to me and because I value family so highly and thought I needed to honor them because I’m Christian, I let them take away any bit of self respect. I have always been a high achiever but I would be in a job and constantly think my boss was unhappy with me (he wasn’t!). Or I never felt I measured up as a mom (I have great kids… my oldest is graduating in 2 days and is one of my favorite people in the world!). Once I made the steps to confront my parents, I ended up losing those relationships which was one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced but also the most liberating. I felt like I finally grew up at age 48. Daily I try to work on how to take care of myself and not listen to the critical voice in my own head. Slowly I’m recovering. I have a wonderful husband and family here and I try to focus on loving people around me because it makes me feel good. I prioritize my time so it’s easier to say no to things too. I hope to feel confident in myself someday!
Hi Bethany. I am sorry you have had to suffer through this. I too had to end the realationship with my mother 6 years ago. I wrote about it here: http://www.sarahbadatrichardson.com/the-gift-of-a-bad-mother/
I hope my perspective can give you a little more peace yet about your decision. Aloha. Sarah
Bethany, Wow you are overcoming some very intense difficulties, when we grow up learning our parents don’t respect us how are we to know how to respect ourselves? My best wishes and prayers to you! Carry on girl!!!
I hope lots of people read this – it is so true!
I’m a homeschooling mother of three who homesteads on five acres in the Pacific Northwest wilderness. I have created an amazing life here, living beyond my wildest dreams (really!), teaching people self sufficiency skills, cheese making and wilderness skills. I’m a life coach and help women move beyond damaging patterns.
But it wasn’t always like this!!! I can so relate to what you are writing here, because I used to think I was not good enough, not worthy, and not wanted. You can imagine what kind of miserable life that created! I am German, and growing up in that culture in an abusive home really cemented these false beliefs.
It took me many years of counseling and becoming a life coach myself to transform and evolve these negative views about myself.
What I find amazing is that all of us struggle with this! Even the sanest, most “together” people struggle with feelings of self loathing or other negative patterns. We are all in this together, and people like you shine a light on it by encouraging us to dig deeper!
Since we know that the value of something is based on the price that is paid for it, how can I spend my life agonizing over my supposed worthlessness?!? Because I was bought with the precious blood of the perfect Son of God, and I have accepted His payment for my sins, I am an absolute jewel in the sight of God! You can’t beat that deal with a stick! 😀 I could become quite wordy on this subject, especially on the dangers of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual insecurities and how such terror ruins lives, but I’ll leave it with the above stated gospel-based value of persons 🙂 Have a blessed day!
This article rings so true for me and at a perfectly pivitol time in my life. I’ve lived a life as well with a childhood of emotionally abusive parents (who they themselves could really benefit from this wisdom) and years of feeling like something was inherently wrong with me, that i have something to apologise for every hour and if i speak my mind it’ll only be a bother. This way of being slingshot me into defensive modes where I used my ego to protect my sense of self. Finally, with a huge pride and ever present need to be Amazing in all ways i started to crumble from the pressure and that small child inside of me(My inner child!) was crying for help. At least the ego helped to experience a sense of self love! (even if it was narcassisim) But now I’m ready to live a more balanced life based on my needs and not solely around projecting and winding myself up in others opinions. Its so exhausting. Now i can go about my life feeling all the colors and not breaking in half every time things rumble. Valuing and loving ourself (and others, and all of life really!) is what holds us together. This isn’t always an easy world to live in but with love there’s nothing to be afraid of!
I love this article!! I try to love myself and reading this makes me aware of things I need to do, how to think about and treat myself. I want my grandchildren and great nieces to learn to love themselves at an early age and hoping I can help them with this. Thanks for helping us with articles like this!
I LOVE this! Hope you don’t mind but I shared it on my new Facebook page and quoted you in the caption.
Thank you for sharing! 🙂